The Power of Love over Hate

About ten years ago, a woman in her mid-twenties, (we will call her Mary, to protect her identity) came to see me regarding her state of health. She had anorexia, she was but skin and bone; her condition was serious, I was very concerned.

I was surprised that she knew me; it was through several different people she had found me.  At our first meeting, I let her talk, so I could have an idea of why she had this condition, what was the root cause.

‘I have a condition called Anorexia, and I don’t know why I have it and how to get rid of it. No one knows how to help me, I really don’t feel well, I hate food and I can’t stand being around people.’  Mary looked at me, ‘I feel comfortable talking to you though.  There is something about you; do you think we could be friends?  Do you think you can help me?’

I really didn’t know what to say to that, but I had a sense that this girl needed someone to be a friend.  ‘I suppose we could be friends, yes.  How about we have a cuppa and we can have a chat.’ Mary was happy I said yes, and waited while I prepared a cup of tea for us both, I brought in a few small pieces of dark chocolate on a plate, so we could have together.

‘We sipped our tea, and I allowed Mary to talk about anything.

This was mainly very negative chatter, about friends, and how they had kept away from her, and about how she hated people looking at her.  I noticed that even though she had taken a small square of chocolate, she would only nibble on the edges, pretending to eat, ‘I feel guilty eating this, I … I can’t eat it.  Can you help me?’

An hour went by and I rose from my chair, ‘It has been lovely chatting with you today.’

‘Thank you for listening.  Can I see you tomorrow?’  She asked as she went to meet her mother who was in the car waiting for her.

I went to make some lunch in the kitchen, and I heard someone come in the front door, I went to see who it might be, it was Mary’s mother.  She had made up an excuse to go to the toilet while Mary was in the car. ‘Yes, can I help you?’

Mary’s mother spoke to me about her daughter, she was very concerned as she wanted her daughter to go to hospital, but her daughter didn’t want to go, Mary was becoming extremely stubborn and easily upset and even angry.  ‘My daughter is refusing any help; she is getting worse and worse.’

‘Why haven’t you called an ambulance, she is in a very weak and in a dangerous condition, I will call the ambulance if you don’t.’

‘No, please don’t, please.  I have already done that, but she refuses to go to the hospital, then she gets very upset and even more debilitated.  If you can find out what is causing this and help her.  Can we try tomorrow, please?’

‘I would rather she went to hospital, but I suppose if she wont, bring her tomorrow, but if there is any sign of deterioration, I will call an ambulance.’

That evening, I needed to spend time considering and praying about all that I had heard and learnt from my session with Mary.  I knew that she was in need of love and attention and I knew she had anger within her, but what had caused it?  Anger is usually produced from hate, but what had made her hate, and caused her to hurt herself.

Next day we sat and chatted again, Mary needed constant reassurance that I was her friend.  ‘As a friend I would like to share with you, what I believe is causing the anorexia.  Would you like me to tell you what I believe?’

‘Yes.’  Mary sat on the edge of her seat, and clasped her fingers together on her lap.

‘As your friend, I need to be truthful with you.  I am very concerned about the state of your well being and you do need proper assistance through this.  You are a talented lady; you told me you used to teach children at school, to sing sand play musical instruments, you must miss doing that, and the children would be missing you too.’  I could tell Mary was getting anxious.

‘Please don’t get upset with what I am about to share, I want you to know that everything we talk about is confidential, okay?’  Mary nodded her head.  ‘Someone, I believe to be a close family member has molested you on several occasions, when you were younger.  You have kept it to yourself, maybe because you are ashamed, or maybe because you have been threatened.  But I tell you right now that that man is a creep, what he has done is evil, and so wrong.’  Mary looked down to her hands, her face paler than before. She looked up and turned her face towards the wall and not at me.  I continued to talk to her, ‘It is alright for you to look at me and talk about this, I want you to be well and strong. I would like to put a question towards you.  Why give this creep the satisfaction of seeing you die slowly?  I want you to kick butt and get better!  Do you know he is getting some wicked pleasure out of seeing you die slowly?  How dare he continue to rape your life, like this! That is what you are allowing him to do, you know, by holding onto these toxic emotions.  Prove him wrong, be different and fight back!  You are a beautiful and talented lady, with great opportunities for a great and successful life.  Don’t let the evil win!’

Mary broke down and cried, ‘It is true, it is true.  How did you know?  No one knows, not my mum, no one!’  I stood beside her, my arm over her shaking shoulders, bones protruding; she was so tiny, so fragile and so broken.

‘You don’t have to talk anymore, this man has stuffed you around for long enough!  Get better and back to what you enjoy.  Get back to teaching those children, they need you and you need them.  Follow your heart and not his!’

‘Yes! Kick butt!  I hate him, I hate him! I will get better’  Mary cried.

There was an immediate turn around for Mary, the hate had produced the anger of the injustice, and this had been cemented in her subconsciousness, she was totally unaware of its evil driving force and its effect on her body.

The second step was to forgive this man, who had destroyed her life.  This did not mean for her to be in contact with him, but for the reason of freeing her completely of the hate and anger and learning to trust and love again.

Eventually she told me and her mother that it had been her dad.  Mary’s mother was unaware of this and it came as a great shock to her.  He was reported and kept away from their lives.

A year later Mary and her mother made contact again, and what a wonderful surprise it was to see them.  Mary was looking healthier and happier, she was back teaching at school, enjoying life; free from the anger and hate.  Mary is also helping others in similar circumstances, giving back what she had eventually found.

We sat together and chatted, while we had a cuppa, Mary handed me a block of chocolate!

‘So, please tell me, how did you know?’  Mary pleaded.

‘Love tells me all.’  I smiled and gave her a hug.

M. A. Loveday

What is the antidote to these destructive emotions?  It has to be pure love!

As I think on this powerful emotion I realise that it is a gift to all who would be willing to receive, and I am even more convinced that love can heal.  What do you think?

My book ‘Emily’, is full of the healing power of love, Emily’  is available from Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Angus and Robertsons/Bookworld and other online stores in paperback and ebook

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Merry Christmas 2016

My Christmas gift to you – an Aussie Christmas.

At Christmas most people, enjoy the presence that is in the atmosphere, as they celebrate with their loved ones.  This is the true gift of Christmas, it is about love, the most powerful force in the whole universe, and it has the power to heal the  brokenhearted.

However, if  you find it hard to celebrate Christmas or the holiday season, for whatever reason; if you have no family, have lost a loved one, are far from home, or struggle in some way … my hope is…that this little video will warm your heart, brighten your day and give you peace this Christmas.

Our motto for this coming year should also be, to pursue love, reaching out to one another with kindness, and in doing so, this world will be a better place. We will all live happier, more fulfilled lives; as we feel the love return to us, and grow in our hearts.

If you would like to read my book ‘Emily’, it will touch your heart, it is full of love, and hopefully, it will lift and inspire you.  It is available from , AmazonAngus & Robertson/Bookworld – Merry Christmas everyone!

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The Tragedy of Gossip

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Let us not under-estimate the destructive power of gossip, it is not something to be taken lightly, it is is a form of verbal and emotional abuse.  One could go as far to say, it is a form of terrorism; using not an explosive or gun, but a negative tongue.

The definition of gossip

Some people call it being a tale bearer, and no, I don’t mean your cat or dog!

Some of the definitions I found include:

  • Unconstrained conversation or reports about people, typically involving details which are not true.
  • Idle talk or rumour, especially about private affairs of others
  • Exaggerated or fabrication of a story, regarding somebody other than the tale bearer
  • To spread rumours or secrets, speak about someone maliciously behind their back.

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Gossip leaves a trail of destruction

After the gossiper has done the deed, it can affect the life of the victim, of this malicious gossip, to devastating proportions, affecting health, relationships between family, friends, business, life … just like that.

Does anyone have the right to destroy another’s life with their tongue?

To what end, and for what purpose is it to the gossiper, to gossip? Is it to elevate themselves above the victim?

We see this in the ‘tall poppy syndrome’, many high profile people; presidents prime ministers, entertainers and business people have experienced this in their careers.

Look at the gossip magazines which feed the world with a diet of gossip, is it desensitising the act of gossip, justifying and teaching the young children and adults, that it’s okay to gossip?

Why gossipers gossip?

It stems from a lack of self-esteem, which stems from lack of love.  How important is Love then, for every person on this planet, to their health and the wellbeing of their lives?

What do we do if we are victim to gossip?

Be mindful who we share our private thoughts and lives with, and with whom we associate.

If we are a victim, then walking in the maturity of love, will be the only way we will be able to stop holding onto negative emotions like anger, and forgive.  Forgiving is important as it allows us to live free of its corrosive effects, love gives us this strength.

This doesn’t mean we have to associate with the gossiper, it is best to keep away, as they already have a talent to twist the truth and this will only add to more stress.

It is best not to talk about or read the gossip, keep your mind on good things.

The victim has a choice to hold onto the injustice mingled with anger or hold on to and press into a healthy emotion … Love!  It will deliver peace and joy back into your heart and mind.

Love is what heals the broken hearted it is the most powerful force in the whole universe

How do we grow in this love that we need?

  • Whenever you hear ugly gossip about someone, love will say, ‘I don’t like hearing this.’ Instead of telling everyone what you have heard, you will want to cover and hide it for that person’s sake.
  • Know that Pure love is in your heart and it has the power to heal, to dissolve all negativity.
  • Associate with family and friends that love you, receive their Love, they will find ways to comfort you. Have a cuppa and talk about good things, give them a hug, receive a hug.
  • Find someone in need and bless them, this is you giving love and it feels good.
  • Appreciate the simple things in life, keeps you positive and thankful.
  • Be thankful for all that you have, all that you have done, or going to do. If you are touched by reading this because you have been hurt, here is a hug from me … see love is chasing you!
  • Get up early in the morning and experience a majestic sunrise, see it as a personal gift to you, leaving you feeling uplifted and refreshed.
  • Read uplifting books, and the New Testament also contains a few gems that may be helpful.
  • Go for a walk to the park, bushland or the beach and experience the soothing effect of nature, the sounds of children playing, people smiling, the birds singing, and the sound of the wind through the trees. This list is endless.

You will experience a heart of gratitude, and anger will slip away if you choose to pursue love.

A person with a heart of appreciation and thankfulness is one that grows deeper into the understanding of the power of love and its potential to heal the broken heart.

Our motto should be this:

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A few last words

Let us all pursue love and in doing so, this world will be a better place and we will all live happier lives, and won’t need to entertain ourselves in negative things like gossip.

In my book ‘Emily’, Grandma Ruby took over the role of mother, when Emily was rejected as a baby. Ruby gave Emily the love she needed to grow and succeed in life.  Ruby also protected Emily from her negative parents, and taught her always to speak and walk in love.  Emily was shown how to respond to others with respect and never to speak with negativity or gossip of her parents or her circumstances.

A strong foundation of love and security was established for Emily, giving her a maturity beyond her years, the confidence to walk in love, follow her heart, and having a heart of appreciation and gratitude it propelled her towards her greatest hopes and dreams.

Margaret Ann Loveday

‘Emily’ is a story of love, love that will capture your heart, appreciate life and believe all things are possible.

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Available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Angus and Robertson/Bookworld and other online stores.

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The Miracle of Love

Margaret Loveday – Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Life can be viewed differently, depending which way we choose.  With thankfulness and appreciation in our hearts, one can look around and see a series of miracles unfolding throughout each and every day.

I have seen many miracles in my own life, for which I am forever truly thankful, and in the lives of so many others, this subject never ceases to fascinate, lift and inspire.

This is how Emily, the main character in my book, lived her life, and this is why she saw her miracles unfold.

This story below is a real life story, and a beautiful example of the miracle of love, it is the story of twins Brielle and Kyrie Jackson.

On the 11th October, 1995 twin sisters Brielle and Kyrie Jackson were born 12 weeks prematurely.  Brielle’s life was threatened by breathing and heart complications, while her sister Kyrie was recovering quite well.

While they lay in their separate incubators at Massachusetts Memorial Hospital, Intensive Care Unit, the nurse on duty, Gayle Kasperian, found that Brielle was getting worse and even changing colour, as she struggled to breathe.  In desperation to save the baby, Gayle broke the hospital policy of the time, and placed the twins together in the same incubator.  Within minutes Brielle had snuggled up to Kyrie, and calmed down.  Brielle fell asleep and Kyrie who was the stronger of the two sisters, wrapped her tiny arm around her sister, as if to give her comfort and love.

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With this touch of pure love, Brielle’s heart rate stabilised, and her temperature returned to normal.  This act of love was called ‘the rescuing hug’, and was published in the Readers Digest and Life Magazine in 1996.

The twins both thrived and returned home after 2 months and apparently they slept in the same bed till after they were 5 years old.  The miracle of love, pure love in the powerful form of the loving touch…healed.

In my book ‘Emily’, Grandma Ruby and then Nick and Dimmy were the ones who gave the gift of love to Emily, which healed her and made her thrive, and in return Emily’s love, touched their lives.

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‘Emily’ the book is available Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Angus and Robertson and other online store

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Lest We Forget

Today is Remembrance Day … ‘Emily’ the novel, is a book that honours Love, Peace, and the appreciation of those who have fought for these very important aspects of our lives, we remember them on Remembrance Day … Here is some information from the Australian War Memorial website … about Remembrance Day tradition.
“Why is this day special to Australians?

At 11 am on 11 November 1918 the guns of the Western Front fell silent after more than four years continuous warfare. The allied armies had driven the German invaders back, having inflicted heavy defeats upon them over the preceding four months. In November the Germans called for an armistice (suspension of fighting) in order to secure a peace settlement. They accepted allied terms that amounted to unconditional surrender.

The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month attained a special significance in the post-war years. The moment when hostilities ceased on the Western Front became universally associated with the remembrance of those who had died in the war. This first modern world conflict had brought about the mobilisation of over 70 million people and left between 9 and 13 million dead, perhaps as many as one-third of them with no known grave. The allied nations chose this day and time for the commemoration of their war dead.” LEST WE FORGET

Rememberance day australia

References: https://www.awm.gov.au/

Margaret Ann Loveday

‘Emily’ the book is available from .www.amazon.com/dp/0992477409 and other online stores Australian customers – Angus and Robertson/Bookworld

 

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The Sounds of Love

The Sounds of Love

Margaret Ann Loveday – Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Dr. Hans Jenny, Swiss doctor and scientist in the 1960’s did experimentation, which provided pictures of sound waves which produced beautiful patterns unique to each vibration.  His experiments revealed that sound is frequency which can impact the cells of the body.

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Fabian Marnien a French composer, acupuncturist and bioenergetician and Helene Crimol, biologist experimented further on the effect of music on the cells of the body, both healthy and unhealthy, in their book ‘The Role of Music in the 21st Century’, with amazing results.  And, Dr Masam Emoto, a Japanese scientist showed the effects of music of different kinds and also the spoken word over water samples, resulting in beautiful crystals for the uplifting words and music, but broken crystals were the effect of heavy metal music and negative words.

So, if the body is made up of 70% water in adults and up to 95% water in children, depending on their age, would it be reasonable to think that we need to be mindful of what we speak over ourselves and others, especially children.

A word fitly spoken is priceless

Words like music are sounds and have a frequency which has it’s impact upon our well-being at all levels, positive and negative; healing or detrimental.  Words have the power to initiate changes throughout the body, and the body responds with physical effects working for us and against us.  I read in an article from ‘Health Impact News website’, that the words that we speak have the power to bring healing in a person’s life.

mother and daughter

This is why I wrote ‘Emily’, a book that will promote love and it’s healing effects.  This is why the heroine of the story Emily, although young, was taught by her Great grandmother Ruby, to be positive in her speech and thoughts and to have good values.  In the story we find, though Emily goes through extremely traumatic times, she always remains positive and eventually is rewarded with the desire of her heart and more.

‘Emily’ is available from Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Angus & Robertson- Bookworld and other online stores.

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What is Kindness?

Margaret Ann Loveday – Monday, April 27, 2015

 ‘Is Kindness Over-rated?’  Was the question asked by Author Anita Kovacevic.

My answer was, ‘NO NEVER – There is never enough!’ 

In a world filled with tragedy, loneliness, heartbreak, stress, sadness, war, suffering, hunger, prejudice, injustice, greed, hatred and natural disasters; where ever there is a need, kindness will be required.

how can one give if empty

Kindness can come in many ways,  lend a hand, cook a dinner, fix a fence, mow a lawn, write a letter of encouragement, give a gift, send a card, say a kind word, give a smile or a hug, hold a hand, give a kiss, show affection, these are acts of kindness. 

 

‘Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless’ Mother Teresa

We see kindness displayed all around us when disaster strikes. Great organisations are built on kindness, organisations like ‘Red Cross’ and the ‘Salvation Army’, they operate on a basis of kindness to give in time of need.

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During a recent storm, a man, risked his life to save two people, in a flash flood; another saved horses stranded in a flooded river, acts of kindness are endlessly displayed.

We see people working together and helping each other. Mother Teresa said, ‘If you can’t feed a hundred, feed one’.  Why do we watch on in time of disaster, or tragedy willing each other on, praying for each other, feeling that lump in the throat, the tears in our eyes, feeling another’s sadness?  Why do we feel moved to help?

Because kindness has its origin and very essence in love; and love, is the essential part of every human being … Love is an ever powerful force that knits the fabric of humanity together.

Pure love's kindness, knows

                                         “All you need is Love” sang The Beatles. 

                                                  ‘Love is kind’ says the Bible.

Kindness is the fruit of ‘Pure Love’.  One small act of kindness towards another person, an animal and nature; can warm a heart, save a life, bring light in darkness, change a circumstance, make a difference, and change the course of history.  Giving kindness even gives to the giver, for as we spread kindness it warms our own heart and satisfies our longing to love.

 Kindness … No, it could never be overrated.

We cannot exist in this world without ‘Love’ and its fruit – kindness.  It is as important as air!  Is air over-rated?

By Margaret Ann Loveday – Author of ‘Emily’

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Love is Important

Love is Important

Margaret Loveday – Friday, October 03, 2014

Love is a powerful emotion and so important to the health of every living soul.  I see it over and over again in the lives of the people that cross my path.  There is more and more research proving the positive impact of love on the health of the body. In my book ‘Emily’, the interactions between the characters emphasize this point;  Ruby strengthened Emily with her love and attention, enabling her to excel in her life’s journey.

‘Psychology Today’, blogs about the human touch:  “We all need human touch and loving affection at every stage of our lives for healthy emotional and neurological development.

A study from UCLA suggests that a loving parental figure may alter neural circuits in children that could influence health throughout a lifespan.  And, toxic childhood stress has been linked to elevated cholesterol, cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome and other physical conditions posing significant risk.  Love protects against childhood stress.”

In their book ‘Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential – and Endangered’, Bruce D Perry, Maia Szalavitz write: “1/3 of babies placed in the barest orphanages can actually die, as a result of being placed in care before the age of 5 years.  Each month spent in an orphanage in early life reduces IQ and increases risk of behavioral and psychological problems.

How can, simply being in an orphanage kill a baby?  They die from lack of love.  When an infant falls below the threshold of physical affection needed to stimulate the production of growth hormone and the immune system, his or her body will breakdown.”

Dr Stephen Sinatra, Cardiologist writes, “Incredible sadness can cause heartbreak – heart disease.  Intense anger can cause high blood pressure.”

What is the antidote to these destructive emotions?  It has to be pure love!

As I think on this powerful emotion I realise that it is a gift to all who would be willing to receive, and I am even more convinced that love can heal.  What do you think?

52. Stars-loveis the most powerful gift

‘Emily’ the book available from:

Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Angus and Robertson, and other online stores

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Love is a Healing Force

My heart is to give a gift of love. ‘Emily’ is a book that I would like out into the world and into the hands of as many people as possible. I would like everyone who reads it to receive something, and hopefully that something is faith, hope and love.  Love being the most important, it is the most powerful emotion that everyone needs every day.

There are many aspects of life and love to delve into, in this book; one of them I would like to talk about is PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It is only in this modern age that society has actually become aware of this very crippling condition; it has always been there but never labelled or accepted.  It has been buried under many carpets and affected many lives.

There are many reasons or circumstances why this condition may occur, trauma from war, floods, fire, earthquakes, accidents, abuse, and anything that causes fear and terror.

In the story of ‘Emily’, our main character Emily is rejected and starved of love, and Nick and Dimmy, suffered from the loss of their daughter in a car accident leaving them mentally and emotionally broken.

Dimmy had a ‘knowing’ that they shouldn’t travel by car but by plane, to their holiday destination.  It was so strong in her, she pleaded with Nick and her daughter to change their plans but was overruled by both, this caused an anger towards Nick that effected their relationship.

Nick’s sister Kath, a professional psychologist, gently guided them patiently with love.  Kath knew that Nick and Dimmy still loved one another, so she was confident that with time they would both heal.

Nick and Dimmy, who owned Green Coastal Wildlife Park and had to run the Park together, were advised by Kath that they should live separately but in close proximity, while they worked through the PTSD.  This way any negativity and anger that Dimmy felt towards Nick was avoided as much as possible.

So Nick built a beautiful cabin for Dimmy with a view of ‘Bellbird Gully’, surrounded by the calming sounds of the bellbirds, other native birds and the wildflowers and scents of the bush.  It was a place of peace and tranquility with a wrap-around verandah and a three-seater swing, so she could look out on the view and take in the ambience.

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Dimmy and Nick, were well aware of the damage stress can have on the body, they kept an eye on one another making sure they were eating nutritious foods, taking extra nutritional supplementation, and exercising every day.

The Rangers, of the Park were all part of the family, at Green Coastal Wildlife Park; they were also counselled by Kath and were asked if they would be sensitive, loving and positive towards Nick and Dimmy and not to ask them questions about the accident. The couple wasn’t to be pressured to talk about it, as it could make things worse. It was important for Nick and Dimmy though, to know that there were people around them that were ready to listen when they wanted to talk.

Kath told Nick and Dimmy that it was important for them not isolate themselves but to mix with those that they felt comfortable and to continue to be part of the social activities in the Park.  The Rangers all conspired to have more fun times like cricket and barbecues on the beach.

Gradually the couple started to spend time together swimming, bushwalking, or just sitting on the verandah having a cuppa, enjoying each other’s company once again.  They were taught distraction techniques of taking up new projects and research to fill their minds with good things, enabling them to live life with more stability; this began to strengthen their relationship.

So when Emily enters into their lives they were ready mentally and emotionally to share their support and love, they were able to reach out to this traumatised little girl.  When Dimmy became aware of how much Emily and her Great Grandmother had been through, it enabled her to let go of her own fears and be filled with pure love.  The threads of love entwined around their hearts, healing and strengthening each one of them.

May the gift of love – an ever powerful force – heal and give strength to your life today.

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‘Emily’ the book is available from Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Angus and Robertsons/Bookworld and other online stores in paperback and ebook

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0992477409

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Follow Your Heart

Whatever your beliefs may be, I would like to take this opportunity to focus on love, as Pure love is the most powerful force that is known to mankind.  It is love that everyone, everywhere needs to have everyday, to be fulfilled and live happy, healthy lives.

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In the book, ‘Emily’, we meet Emily whose Great Grandmother Ruby, actually fights for Emily’s right to live and then raises her, giving her all the love, moral values and the tools to equip Emily; not just to survive but to thrive in life.  This allowed Emily to realise that she didn’t have to suffer from her parents abusive ways and the negative circumstances that surrounded her.  Ruby’s love and equipping gave Emily the faith and the confidence to follow her heart.

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Emily found peace and tranquility for herself in nature; wildlife, native plants and the environment, this  was the passion which eventually connected her to Nick and Dimmy, who held the same passion as Wildlife Rangers.

Emily had a void in her heart that she didn’t understand and Nick and Dimmy had a void that they ignored, but when love came and entwined its threads around these three people, all the negativity, trials, the hurt was washed away.  The void was filled with love, which gave them all a fresh start and stability to their lives.

Something spiritual happens in the human heart, that cannot be explained or expressed.  By following our heart , we can be propelled towards our hopes, dreams and desires ….   the essence of what we search for, most often will be love.

In the Light of love the eyes of understanding opens enabling us to see more clearly and as we look, we see negative circumstances and things, dissolve into insignificance.  Then we become thankful and fully appreciate life.

If we follow our hearts, love will find us and our lives can be so fulfilled.  Margaret Ann Loveday

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‘Emily’ the book is available from Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Angus and Robertson/Bookworld or other online stores

 

 

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